The MisAdventures of Scargirl
A Division of SamSword
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funny bike storyDrawing by Sarabbit

Kate and I pedaled off, I more slowly as my speed was impeding by riding one armed. My steering was wobbly and I was a bit dizzy.

humorous bike story Photo by
Christian Rasmussen

Reaching the next incline of sorts became more of a challenge as I had to pedal harder.  

bike blog

Could be Worse! Could be Raining.”

I cannot say for sure when I experienced my first misadventure. I am talking about my first misadventure out in the big world alone, without the help of my parents. Surely I was a teenager.

I do remember going for a bike ride with my best friend. In all of my stories I have changed the names of the characters. I wouldn't want to embarrass my friends. We will call her Kate. Kate lived in a big, modern house in an urbanization in the country. Nice houses. I would be there a lot and one particular day we decided to ride bikes.

Having no bike of my own there, I used one of hers. Kate and I grew up near the farmlands of Illinois, just outside of Chicago. We were definitely city girls. If you know this area, you will know the land is flat, hence the term the “Great Plains.”

I myself have never understood what was so great about them. Here, there are no mountains. And barely any hills, or any rise of the surface of any sort. There was a mound, though, called Johnson's mound.

This is the setting of this misadventure. We rode up the mound successfully, even though my bike was a bit tattered and rusty. I do not recall that it had any more than three gears. The chain was clunky and fussy.

Did I already mention the bike was too big for me? This wouldn't be hard to imagine. After growing to five feet tall in my junior year at high school, that would be where I topped off. This was the summer before my junior year so I must have been in that range.

Anyway, the bike was too big for me. On the way down the mound, though it was only a mound the road was steep, I saw a big dirt patch spanning across the road and hit it with great speed.

I should know how this works, because I used to hit them all the time on my skateboard. Nevertheless, I wasn't expecting to stop with such a sudden halt. But that is what happened, and it launched me over the bike.

I would still have the scar on my elbow if it hadn't been shredded off during another bike incident some twenty years later on a mountain bike spill. Ooze and blood dripped from my wound, but I could still move my elbow.

Kate and I pedaled off, I more slowly as my speed was impeded by riding one armed. My steering was wobbly and I was a bit dizzy. Reaching the next incline of sorts became more of a challenge as I had to pedal harder.

From out of nowhere two dogs lurched at us barking fiercely. I have never been afraid of dogs. Ferocious though they were I paid no attention. Kate let out a shout and she was away. This sent both the dogs in my direction.

I thought they would just run off. They didn't. Instead, they kept approaching. Both of them opened their jaws and wanted to take a bite out of me. I didn't know which one to focus on. Should I dismount the bike? What should I do? I was trying to manage kicking and pedaling at the same time.

Nearly falling off, but still moving ahead as fast as I could, the dogs were staying even with me. One was black and brown like a doberman mix; the other was white and tan. Both were medium to large size, still nipping at any part of me easy enough to get ahold of.

I began to pray loudly. Nothing more than a shout for help. It came. By the time I reached the top of the hill, they had given up or thought me no longer a threat. Thankful was I. Trying to grasp for air and not panic, Kate looked back at me with huge, brown eyes.

“You are so lucky!” she exclaimed, no knowing to laugh or be silent.

I shook it off. I remembered a funny line out of the movie Young Frankenstein. Playing my best British accent I quoted it, “Could be worse! Could be raining.”

In that moment, the heavens opened up. We were in total disbelief. "It's raining!" we chuckled. "I can't believe you said that and now it's raining!"


Wrtten by Jori Sams

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